The voices in my head

Wolf blanket and Anika

I have slowly but surely began to believe in my dream of being a successful entrepreneur and business owner. I stand here today looking far into the distance where my line of what is successful has been drawn. I’m still reinvesting every penny back into the business, still work full time as a nanny, still question most days why I work so hard at this, still feeling like every new step is me scraping to learn just enough to make it work. It’s so far from what I want it to be and I know so little about how to turn this idea in my head into a dream career.

Regardless of the distance between me and success, the dreamer and schemer in me has found a way to start believing in myself and how hard I can hustle to make the dream of being the owner of an ethical fashion brand and design company happen.

The key to finding the momentum to take steps forward was changing the voices that ran through my head.

All too often the narrative that runs like a hamster wheel in my head is one of admitting defeat before I even begin the project. I speak to myself with more harshness than I would ever imagine saying to another human being. I am the queen of throwing myself under the bus before anyone else can. Somehow this is an attempt to save me from humiliation. I have nailed the art of self-deprecating humor, which is the worst because me being my own worst enemy is now funny. Who wants to change the thing about themselves that make other people laugh?

I can shut down just about any idea with the internal speech; you are not smart enough, not organized enough, too dyslexic, too loud, or you did not go to college. The meanest and loudest voice I have ever heard is the sound of my own voice in my head.

Maybe this is something just some of us struggle with, maybe all of us, but I know for a fact I am not the only one whose negative self-talk has held us back from so much. So how do we flip the switch? How do we mentally find a way to stop screaming to ourselves,  “You are stupid! Why even try?”

I want to be the first to believe in me. I want to listen to the quiet voice inside that says. “Ya know, I think you got this.”

I am nowhere close to being a sunshine and roses, positive thinking, let’s believe in every dream kinda gal. As an Enneagram 8, I never will be. I am however finding a way to push past the voice that says don’t even try, and listen to the reason that says, no matter success or failure, working on this dream is worth it.

A few months ago I looked around at the people in my life and while they are amazing and doing great things, no one was chasing a similar dream to me. I needed voices that sounded similar to mine. I needed to hear from someone that said, “Yes, I was also once a woman who had a crazy dream, but I hustled, failed, kept going, and look at what I built.” And here is the thing, it’s 2018 and our access to a pep talk in our earbuds is overwhelmingly abundant.

Podcasts people. Get on board. They have changed my life.

So I want to share with you some of the top podcasts (and audiobooks) that have started to help me push the negative self-talk aside. I want to share the voices that have given volume to the voice in my head that says, “You have the tenacity and grit to get this done.”

I have stopped telling myself this is a crazy little side hustle. Rather I am telling myself I am at the beginning of building a company people are just waiting to be a part of. They just don’t know it yet.

Business Boutique by Christy Wright

Super helpful and practical tips to what it takes to start a company. She interviews a wide range of people from big names to women who are in the middle of their entrepreneurial story.

She also has a book that I highly recommend to read if you are at the very beginning.

It covers your why, taxes, finding the look you are going for, writing a business plan, and all other basic stuff.

RISE Podcast by Rachel Hollis

You have probably heard of Rachel Hollis. She has a best selling book right now “Girl, Wash Your Face.” Listened to it, loved it, highly recommend it. Whether or not you agree with everything she says I don't really care. That book is motivational and changed my mindset on so many things.

She also has a podcast. Who are the people I want to listen too? People that have done it and are winning in there industry. Rachel Hollis is one of those people.

The Refined Collective Podcast by Kat Harris

Just discovered this one and it’s a top go to pick right now.

Kat Harris is the founder of the Refined Women online magazine. A platform to empower women to know their worth and chase their dreams.

Her podcast is open and honest. She always interviews people I am so excited to hear from. Listening to what people have overcome to get to the place they are now is so helpful to listen to as someone just getting started.

Great Women of Business

Stop right now. I love this podcast.

It is two women with the most kindergarten storytelling voices retelling the stories of women that have paved the way in business. Women like Coco Chanel, Julia Child, Madam C.J. Walker and so many more. They point out the practical things we can learn from these women. Honestly, it has helped me work through what I want the big picture of Home Free Tees to be. We can learn so much from the journeys of the women who against all odd built culture changing companies.

The Going Scared Podcast by Jessica Honegger

Just the name alone is inspiring so I think we can just leave it there. Jessica Honegger interviews people who have been scared and made the choice to do it anyway.

So many voices you want to hear from and I am grateful for what Jessica has to offer. She also has a book called “Imperfect Courage.” It was so good. My personal review. Read it.

She is the founder of Noonday Collections. An ethical fashion company that employs artisans all over the world. She turned a need to fund her son's adoption and build a 17 million dollar company.

She is someone who I want to follow and someone whose vision and journey of living overseas sounds very similar to mine.

Conscious Chatter

This one is all ethical fashion talk. If you like to nerd out on brands, manufacturing, and how people get started this is the place for you.

Business With Purpose by Molly Stillman

Blogger Molly Stillman interviews business owners and leaders about starting cause-driven businesses. She is really insightful in the questions she asks the people she interviews. I appreciate the wide variety of start-up owners you get to hear from when you might not know their whole story otherwise. I listened to three today if that says anything.